Bull!

Recently we read in the papers about a young Delhi woman who poisoned her jeweller husband and two kids to elope with a man she had ‘met’ on Facebook and had been communicating with for a few weeks. 


The man had told her that he was a non-resident Indian based in London, interested in marrying an Indian woman, and taking her back to London with him. He found her perfect. They decided to get married. He asked her to leave her family and bring some cash or jewellery; she gladly took along jewellery worth about half a million Rupees. They checked into a hotel and had some refreshments in the room. The following morning, when the woman woke up, she realised that her lover had taken all her jewellery and left without any trace. He had laced her drink with some sedative.

We may be tempted to tut-tut and wonder how gullible folks can be. How could this woman trust a stranger and take his claims seriously? Shouldn’t she have checked his credentials? After all, it was a major, life-changing decision that she was taking.

We may consider her foolish and gullible. The fact is, we are little different from her. We are susceptible to deceptive persuasion if the conditions are ripe. Let us look at the conditions under which this young woman acted the way she did.

We don’t have any information about her personal life and relationship with her husband. We can only speculate. It is very likely that she was not happy with her marriage. She was hoping for an exit. Perhaps she had dreams of living abroad especially in a western country. She wanted someone to come along and deliver her from her marriage. When the Facebook friend happened, her mind was fully ready to buy any bull from him. 

The man must have been suave, full of love and concern. He must have shared with her his dreams of an exciting, love-filled life together with her. He presented to her the picture of a caring man who appreciated her, unlike her husband who took her for granted. She desperately wanted to believe him and was afraid that she would lose him if she dillydallied. Under such circumstances, it is not at all surprising that her critical faculties were switched off. It is like your immuno-responses being suppressed by cortisone.

However knowledgeable and critical we are, we also succumb to deceptive persuasion if we are approached with a proposal that is along the lines that we believe in and are dreaming of. The belief that we are smart and that we cannot be taken for a ride itself dulls our critical faculties. In fact, fraudulent persuaders often play on our sense of invulnerability to strike us. 

Take any financial fraud that lures savvy investors. The victims consider themselves smart, capable of smelling an extraordinary opportunity before others spot it. They skip due diligence because their greed doesn’t let them share such information widely or seek others’ opinion. They are worried they would lose the edge. Just like the woman who didn’t ask her Facebook lover any hard questions lest she would lose him.

Have you had any experience of being taken for a ride? Why not share it with us? I have had several. I’ll share one with you in a few days. Fortunately the loss was minimal. And the learning phenomenal.