Full-bellied Persuasion

In a recent Washington Post opinion piece, ‘Fewer dinners mean meaner politics,’ author Lea Berman, a former White House social secretary, says, “Washington doesn’t go to dinner much anymore, and it’s bad for the country.” She observes that politicians from both sides cite their busy schedules as the excuse for not attending get-togethers that transcend party lines. Whatever the excuse, it’s not good for governance.

What happens when we break bread together? How does attending an iftar party or a networking dinner enhance our persuasive power? If eating together leads to enhanced persuasive power, persuading members of one’s family should be as simple as swimming downstream. But we know that it is just the opposite - nearly always.

Eating together does not on its own work any miracles. It is the socialising and getting to know one another as persons around the pleasant experience of eating a good, leisurely meal that does the trick. For many of us persuasion targets are specimens of generally unfavourable stereotypes rather than people who are made of flesh and blood just like us. When we deal with an enemy, we don’t have any difficulty working towards a win-lose outcome, and we don’t mind investing our time, effort, and other resources in pursuing it. It is difficult to take such an unfair and unreasonable attitude when we deal with a Rahul or a Rahim that we have broken bread with.

Even when we have to persuade a target we know very well and have interacted with, food and drinks are an excellent accompaniment. The sense of satisfaction that we get during a good meal may gently dull our critical faculties and soften our stand; this may be the reason why many successful negotiators like to soften their counterparts over a meal in a good restaurant.

Recent research by Professor Shai Danziger of Ben Gurion University of the Negev (Israel) establishes a link between food and judges’ decisions. When hungry, judges tend to be less sympathetic to the defendant than after a food-break. Perhaps this is a reiteration of the conventional wisdom captured well by Voltaire, “nous sommes tous meilleurs quand nous avons le ventre plein” (“we’re all better when our stomach is full”).

When we set out to do a tough persuasion task, it is perhaps a good idea to see if delicious food of the target’s choice can be given a supporting role. Chances are that it will more than pay for itself!