She strikes while the iron is hot (2)

Ruth’s story illustrates several smart persuasive moves.

Let's start with Ruth’s approach to life. She was bold and risk-taking.  As we have seen in an earlier post, Blessed are the thick-skinned, we need to be a little bold and thick-skinned to be persuasive. If we are not willing to take risks, we may not attempt persuasion in contexts where we are not sure of success.

The story shows that Ruth certainly had initiative. She went to Boaz’s field looking for barley instead of relying on her mother-in-law to provide for her.  She stood out from the workers and other poor women who were gleaning the field. It was obvious to everyone including her that Boaz was treating her differently. One reason may have been the fact that she, being Naomi's daughter-in-law, was a relative.  Another could be that she was attractive. But Boaz didn't take his special interest in her beyond socially approved limits. He didn’t try to exploit her poverty or helplessness as a young widow to satisfy any sexual desires he might have had. Neither did he make any attempt to contact Naomi to explore the possibility of marrying Ruth.

Naomi was monitoring what was going on. Once she noticed Boaz’s behaviour, Naomi waited for the best time for Ruth to strike. This illustrates priming that is required for persuasion to be successful. Priming is nothing but preparing the target in multiple ways for being persuaded.

The priming we notice here had two components. The first was to grow Boaz’s interest in Ruth to the level of desire. Seeing her every day but not getting her would have stoked the fire of desire in him. The second was to choose the most conducive environment for the persuasive move to work. In other words, Naomi wanted to choose a time when any resistance that the target had would be the weakest.

If Naomi wanted Boaz to marry Ruth following the custom of Levirate marriage, we would have expected her to visit him in his house and present her proposal. Naomi realised that taking this standard approach would almost certainly fail. Technically, Boaz was not in the picture at all because he was not the nearest male relative. If he married her, he would have to bring up children in the name of her dead husband, and the property would go to those children. If Boaz looked at the proposal rationally, he would look for another woman without any such conditions rather than a widow. Being rich, he shouldn’t have found it very difficult to find a pretty woman to be his wife. There was no need to marry a widow when he was not required to.

Naomi waited until the end of harvesting. This is the time that farmers feel the happiest. Additionally, she asked Ruth to approach Boaz when he was half asleep after he had a good supper and wine. Ruth had washed and perfumed herself to be even more desirable. Boaz was too stunned to think clearly when he found the sweet-smelling Ruth lying next to him. He couldn’t believe his luck – instead of going to young men she had chosen him. He would be willing to part with anything to have her. And she made her demand clear, upfront. She had not come for a little fun or money; she had come with a proposal under the Levirate marriage custom. Boaz agreed instantly. It’s after committing himself that he realised that he was not the closest male relative. But having committed himself, removing the hurdle was his burden.

The following morning Boaz framed the proposal to his ‘rival’ focusing on the responsibilities of a Levirate marriage. That man was interested in property, but not willing to marry a widow and raise children in her dead husband’s name. For him Ruth was just a poor Moabite widow to be looked after, not a sexy, capable woman that she had grown to be for Boaz. Reason prevailed, and he cleared the way for Boaz.

Ruth ran a big risk by crawling under Boaz’s blanket when he was half asleep on the threshing floor after dining and wining. It could have ended in little more than sex. And obviously any blame for it would have gone to Ruth because she asked for it. This is where Naomi’s strategy comes through as brilliant. It was a calculated risk. If Ruth had offered herself to him soon after she started gleaning his field, it would probably have ended in nothing more than sex. Naomi observed that throughout the harvesting season Boaz had behaved well while taking a keen interest in Ruth.

Some people may be quick to condemn Naomi and Ruth for adopting this route. But we need to remember that in the Jewish society at that time, being a widow without a male heir was the worst curse a woman could have. Also, sex with a man was the only way a woman could become a mother. That the Jews understood and accepted it is clear from the way Ruth has been celebrated in the Bible.